394. TELL ME YOUR MOVIE

Hurray! My payment to Life Coach finally goes through. On the fourth try. Whatever, as long as we are ready to let the coaching begin.

“We have four sessions, to start,” Life Coach says. Okay, I can handle this. “So tell me what are you looking for?” she asks. Hhhmm. Silence. How come I can be everyone’s source of support but I cannot articulate what I want for myself? “How about we try this,” she suggests. “What would you do if you could have any job you wanted?” “I’d write,” I reply. I don’t have to think about – my mind just naturally comes to this conclusion. “Good,” Life Coach says. “Tell me your movie,” she says. Ahhhh my what? More silence. “Your movie. What screams success to you? Right now, no thinking, just tell me your gut reaction,” Life Coach coaxes.

The words begin falling out of my mouth. “A two-book deal, a great Manhattan or Manhattan adjacent (i.e. lives/works in Westchester) agent, one that believes in me when I don’t. An editor who finds my run-ons, wrong word choices to be endearing, scolds me gently and then sends school marm edits. Pays attention to my plot and gives comments. A City in the Apartment life – one that I can sustain and maintain – I need to take care of myself before I can take care of someone else,” I say. “I knew you knew your movie,” Life Coach says.  “Now write your movie,” she says. Ah whaaaaat? “Your homework is to write your movie. And then in one sentence I want your success story.”

“Uhhmm…” I begin. “I know, seems a little uncomfortable. You’re a typical over achiever. Driven, but humble. You cannot achieve success until you envision it first. You need to dream big to achieve big. Be bold. Tell me your movie,” Life Coach says before she ends Session One.