Tuesday, September 20, 2011

455. HAS THIS GUY HEARD OF A PHONE?


“So he disagrees. More like – his contractor disagrees,” I say into the phone as soon as Desi Brother picks. No hello dear brother, how are you? How is my niece? How is work? How is the weather? None of that. Deep sigh from Desi Brother. “Start at the beginning,” Desi Brother says. I hear him cracking open a soda can and something clomp, clomp, like he is sitting back in his chair and just kicked his feet up on to the desk. Like he is settling in for a long story. Which, given it is me, and brevity is not my forte, is not an inaccurate assumption on his part.

“Well – his contractor hates women,” I reply. Silence from Desi Brother. “Hello?” I ask. “I am sorry – he hates women? In this day and age?” Desi Brother demands. “Yes,” I reply. “So how the hell are you working with this guy?” Desi Brother asks. “I have never met the contractor. Town and Country is the go between,” I reply.  “How does this guy have time to remodel his house if he does not have time to date? And where has he found this sexist contractor in the middle of New York City?” my brother asks.

“I don’t know any of the answers to your questions – all I know is the contractor doesn’t agree with the wall design,” I say. “What part does the contractor disagree with?” Desi Brother asks. “I don’t know – he wrote it in a text to me,” I reply hurriedly. “Okay – slow down – who texted you? The contractor?” Desi Brother asks. “No, no – Town and Country texted me and said the Contractor thinks our design is wrong and now Town and Country is asking me follow-up questions…what if thinks we are stupid nimrods from po-dunk?" I ask. “Okay, paranoid much? Just wait - first we are not nimrods. Second, there is nothing wrong with our design. It is subject to interpretation. Clearly we are using some product the contractor has never heard of. Or he has never built the system I am suggesting. What I don’t understand is why the two of you are designing his house through text messages?” Desi Brother asks. “Hasn’t this guy heard of a phone?” Desi Brother mutters.

Well that is something I often wonder. We have never spoken on the phone – yet. All this time later. No conversations by voice. All of our conservations have been live or via text.

“I need you to go back to Town and Country – and have a conversation or sort this out through email – I need to know what this contractor has issue with and I will set them straight,” Desi Brother replies.  

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is the guy you end up with isnt it? I LOVE your blog I read it religiously

Anonymous said...

This is the guy you end up with isnt it? I LOVE your blog I read it religiously

Amrisha

VIC SEMBI said...

honestly i think this is a good chance to stand your ground. At the end of the day he sees you also on the professional side as well. Its good opportunity to go toe to toe with this contractor.

The contractor is probably a moron, ive dealt with a few before and to be most are a bunch of cowboys.

why dont you call this T&C and explain to him on the phone, or even meet up for a coffee or wine and answer those questions.


It seems that whenever you are in awkward, unnerving situation you start to buckle. you have to stop going into panic mode all the time.

Vic Sehmbi

VIC SEMBI said...

or even better ask him to get advise from another contractor.

Doesn't this guy know that you are supposed to get multiple qoutes. it seems he doesn't really know how to deal with these kind of projects

Anonymous said...

I have been reading some views in the comments section that how T&C is trying to gradually see how well you fit into his life. I think that is a very retro view - it may have been true in old ages and scenarios when girl-boy relationships are not part of the culture. T&C lives and has spent considerable time in a western environment and same applies to you. If he had any intentions of the dating/marrying sort then you would have known by now. Since he has not given any clear indications, I believe he is only massaging your ego as much to ensure you dont leave his work as a "cheap" architect since he knows you are not and dont like being an architect. He thinks that you will not work sincerely enough only for the money. The mixed signals are to keep your interest in him - and consequently his work. I hope this gives a girls' perspective amidst all the men. :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Amrisha -

Thanks so much for the shout out as a religious reader. More is coming!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic Sembi -

Apologies in the delay - work is just crazy as of late.

The Contractor is a moron, and that is really the only type the come in. With that said - I have met a handful of some that I would work with again and again. But it is the bad ones that really sully things up.

I do panic - you are correct. I am confident and together, until I get around someone I am really attracted to and then I become a mess.

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

I have no idea what T&C is doing. While I agree with you that if he wanted something real he'd make a move. But ... I don't know what is happening - I don't live in his head.

I am not sure what you mean by the cheap architect comment. If you mean that I do substandard work, not so much. I am an overachieving perfectionist. If you meant bc I dont cost him a lot of money, that is because I short change myself. I had a long conversation with my "work brother" about this.

Maybe he is just baiting me along. Maybe he likes the attention and company without is meaning anything. And yes I dont love practicing architecture, but I would never run arnd and say I was one, when I was not. I don't hate it tho. I just feel like I was meant to do something else. And at this juncture in my life feel my true calling is still calling.

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic -

And .. OH MY ... I agree - why he did not get multiple bids - is one of many things I wonder as we work on this house.

xo,
Desi Girl

Cora said...

DG. I want you to know that in the past 36 hours or so I have read your entire blog history - I love your writing style and your story. Can't wait to see what happens next!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Cora!

Thanks SO much for your note! I write because for me it is like breathing - necessary. It is rewarding that you can enjoy it!

Merci!

xo,
Desi Girl