Thursday, December 15, 2011

516. I DON’T GIVE A CRAP


Desi Girl: Well. Something.
Town and Country: What is it then.

I cannot tell if he is worried, annoyed or what. But you know what? I am tired. And in this moment I don’t give a crap about him. I give a crap about me. So yes, I am tired of thinking he likes me. Believing he likes me. And then having no fucking idea as to what is going on in his head. Whatever. I am not looking to control this. I just want to understand where, if anywhere, I stand.

Yes, sure. Maybe I should have lip-locked him when I had the chance. But I am pretty he would have taken that for a sign that I was open to having sex. Which may not be inaccurate. But I’d like to have sex in the confines of something possible, probable with him. He has made it clear (or sometimes I think it is clear) that he has some physical interest in me. But he doesn’t leave me feeling that he has any emotional interest in me. And emotional interest is important. To me. I don’t give a crap about what is important to him.

Yes. I am a self-proclaimed prude. And DAMN proud of it. I am not giving it away for free. I need sex to mean something. And when I am honest. I don’t think I mean to him what he means to me. And that is OKAY. But if we are never going to be more than this. Then I need this to end. I need to move on and meet someone emotionally available. Someone who gets me. Someone who wants me in the way I want to be wanted.

Town and Country is not someone who can be ignored. He is persistent and will text and text and text. There is only one way for this to end. With the bold and honest truth..

I take a deep breath and text back: I’m surprised it takes so many days for you to acknowledge receipt of package. Especially when you new it was coming.
Town and Country: I got it. It was great. Thanks. Better?
Desi Girl: (Really? Just let it go, just let it go.) Yep.
Town and Country: Everything okay?
Desi Girl: Fine.
Town and Country: Sure? (Why is he pushing this? Why isn’t he letting it go?)
Desi Girl: Yep.
Town and Country? Really fine? (What the hell is he doing? Why doesn’t he change the subject?)
Desi Girl: Well – since you push. I can’t believe you didn’t even shoot a note of “Thanks. Hate it.” “Thanks. Like it.”

Silence.

Desi Girl: I feel like if I was a client you would have found two minutes to drop me a note. And since I am me, you didn’t.

Silence.

Ooo. He is PISSED.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am sure he doesnot want to be challenged and I am sure you won't like to be challenged either (as a punjabi). If I am not mistaken, he is a punjabi too. Somehow you two are very good for each other and that's why you guys are attracted to each other. Physical attraction has to be there in a relationship also (sight of penis is not bad once in a while), otherwise who wants to even hold the hands.
Hopefully you two get there romantically.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

You are absolutely right, I dont like to be challenged, but I have made mistakes that have been brought to my attention to correct. And agreed physical attraction is important. :) Let's see how we get there!

xo,
DG