557. BUSY MY MIND

It’s Monday. And I am back at Daniel’s office, sitting at my desk, enjoying the quiet morning, staring at the skylight, wondering if it will leak when it rains. Or if I will be a roasted desi girl in July, sitting here cooking under the hot summer sun. I have to think about such stupid things. They busy my mind. They stop me from missing my mother, being alone, thinking of Town and Country.

I push back from the desk and grab a yogurt from the fridge. This was supposed to be my late morning snack, but I am hungry now. My diet of peanut butter sandwiches gets boring every now and then. But it is a cheap, fast and easy way to get full and have protein.

I pull the top back and drive the plastic spoon into the creamy, smooth pink yogurt. I wander over to the window and stare at traffic moving down Madison Avenue.  It takes about six bites for me to finish the snack and I toss the container away. I’m in a mood to pick a fight so I grab my phone, sit down and kick my feet onto my desk, like I own the joint, rather than barely draw a paycheck.

Desi Girl: Hey

Immediately, a text from Town and Country: Hi
Desi Girl: I need to know something.

Town and Country: Yes

Desi Girl: I need to know why you yelled at me over text.

Town and Country: I was wrong. So I apologized as soon as I realized.

Desi Girl: It took you THREE months?

Town and Country: Yes, I am sorry.

Desi Girl: You really hurt my feelings.

Town and Country: I know. I am very sorry. Forgive me.

I inhale slowly and release the air. I should not forgive him. But I don’t have the energy to put myself out there to desi date all over again. I should not let him back into my life, because he is going to put back on the heroin-induced roller coaster ride we call friendship. All my friends will shake their heads at me. But I am alone. And lonely.

Desi Girl: Okay. I forgive you.