Tuesday, August 23, 2011

434. THE REAL LIFE OF DESI GIRL


I am calling Desi Brother – who is an architect. He not only has an undergraduate degree in architecture but he went onto grad school, and passed a 12 part exam – so in the eyes of the AIA and architects all over America – he is a real architect. Not like me. Pretending to be one on the sit-com known as the Real Life of Desi Girl.

“Hello,” he says. “What do you know about fire extinguishers? Do you recommend anything over Kidde?” I ask. “Why do you need fire extinguishers?” he asks skeptically. I groan. “I am fine. I have not burned anything down – nor has anything near me burned down…” I say impatiently. “So why do you need fire extinguishers?” he asks, slightly amused, slightly perplexed. Ugh. He gets like this – when he KNOWS there is a story – he likes to pretend he is my father – not my brother.  “Because…I have a client – who wants me to do architectural product research on things for his house – that he is remodeling…” I say slowly. Ew. Calling Town and Country a client seems skeevy.

“Well that is cool – where is the house?” he asks. “Manhattan,” I reply. “How did you get this gig?’ he asks. I hear him at his desk, typing and flipping through papers in search of my answers. “Ah – you know – networking…” I reply. This seems much safer than saying “the matrimonial website - where I meet freaks, geeks and the occasional penis." “That is cool, your volunteer work connection help you find this Client?” he asks. “Uhm, no not really. Though I am working with Tate to update my resume and find a new job,” I reply. “Oh really?” he asks. “Yes, Tate is VERY connected,” I reply – maybe he has forgotten that I have not told him the client’s name. That would be rad.

“In marketing?” he asks. “No – Tate is thinking Executive Support and Management,” I reply. “That is cool,” he replies. He must really be focused – because while Desi Brother is less chatty than Desi Girl – he is repeating himself which means he is barely listening to me as he helps me with my investigation. 

“Okay – yes the kitchen fire extinguishers need to have a different class of rating due to the potential of grease fires. I am going to send you two links, for two different extinguishers, buy one kitchen and one non-kitchen,” he directs. “Uhm – okay … I need one kitchen and seven regular…” I say. There is a long pause before he says, “whhhhhhy? Who in the hell needs eight fire extinguishers in the middle of Manhattan?”

“Uhm – Town and Country…” I reply. Longer pause of silence and then he mutters, “…dear God…”

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Desi Girl, my colleagues must think I am crazy sitting at my desk laughing at the computer monitor LOL your brother is funny

Milly xx

jnkparmar said...

And the story only gets better!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Adventurous Ammena said...

lol.. youre brother is so cool ;)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Milly -

Dont worry - they think I am nuts at work too! I am also the only woman at work is a little bit of a diva - on a budget of course - and my work brother thinks I am a desi valley girl - very funny!

My brother IS funny - I heart him!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear JNKParmar -

Oh yes - this round is something else - just wait!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Adventurous Ammena -

Desi Brother is pretty cool - I am a lucky sister.

xo,
Desi Girl