434. THE REAL LIFE OF DESI GIRL

I am calling Desi Brother – who is an architect. He not only has an undergraduate degree in architecture but he went onto grad school, and passed a 12 part exam – so in the eyes of the AIA and architects all over America – he is a real architect. Not like me. Pretending to be one on the sit-com known as the Real Life of Desi Girl.

“Hello,” he says. “What do you know about fire extinguishers? Do you recommend anything over Kidde?” I ask. “Why do you need fire extinguishers?” he asks skeptically. I groan. “I am fine. I have not burned anything down – nor has anything near me burned down…” I say impatiently. “So why do you need fire extinguishers?” he asks, slightly amused, slightly perplexed. Ugh. He gets like this – when he KNOWS there is a story – he likes to pretend he is my father – not my brother.  “Because…I have a client – who wants me to do architectural product research on things for his house – that he is remodeling…” I say slowly. Ew. Calling Town and Country a client seems skeevy.

“Well that is cool – where is the house?” he asks. “Manhattan,” I reply. “How did you get this gig?’ he asks. I hear him at his desk, typing and flipping through papers in search of my answers. “Ah – you know – networking…” I reply. This seems much safer than saying “the matrimonial website - where I meet freaks, geeks and the occasional penis." “That is cool, your volunteer work connection help you find this Client?” he asks. “Uhm, no not really. Though I am working with Tate to update my resume and find a new job,” I reply. “Oh really?” he asks. “Yes, Tate is VERY connected,” I reply – maybe he has forgotten that I have not told him the client’s name. That would be rad.

“In marketing?” he asks. “No – Tate is thinking Executive Support and Management,” I reply. “That is cool,” he replies. He must really be focused – because while Desi Brother is less chatty than Desi Girl – he is repeating himself which means he is barely listening to me as he helps me with my investigation. 

“Okay – yes the kitchen fire extinguishers need to have a different class of rating due to the potential of grease fires. I am going to send you two links, for two different extinguishers, buy one kitchen and one non-kitchen,” he directs. “Uhm – okay … I need one kitchen and seven regular…” I say. There is a long pause before he says, “whhhhhhy? Who in the hell needs eight fire extinguishers in the middle of Manhattan?”

“Uhm – Town and Country…” I reply. Longer pause of silence and then he mutters, “…dear God…”