“Be late!” says the sms message from Meera. Her wish is granted because I cannot readily locate the bar. Normally I am great with directions, but tonight a H-U-G-E sign saying, “Enter here Desi Girl” would have helped.
I fluff my hair and enter. Immediately I see Town and Country to my left, but I pretend I’ve missed him and turn to my right. I can feel his eyes boring into my back, and take my time surveying the room. I turn and find him walking towards me. He stops and I smile. “Hello, Town and Country, nice to meet you. I think I’m a little late," I say warmly. Six minutes to be exact. He tries to peck my cheek and I try to hug him. Awkward. Then he says, “Yes, you are late.” Okay. Wow. He noticed and called me on it. I'd love to meet someone who lets me run, but knows when to reign me back.
“Let’s sit on the other side,” Town and Country suggests. I follow him to a dark and sexy lounge filled with men in suits and pretty, hipsters drinking wine and fake-tinis (vodka-based-cocktails-so-I-can-be-cool-and-drink-from-a-martini-glass). The hipsters are so Dolce and Gabbana fabu that I feel bookish in my Mall of America clothes.
Town and Country finds a sofa and we sit down. Because I am 5’-2-¾” I cannot sit all the way back in the deep couches because my feet won’t touch the floor. So I perch on the edge and the pose works to my advantage. My body language seems more engaged than I really am. He removes his winter coat and reveals his European styled suit. He is tied with the Banker for the best first date outfit. And I don’t know what Town and Country was worrying about. Not hitting the gym is not hurting him.
He orders two glasses of wine, one for him and one for me. Because I want him to like me, I keep reminding myself to stop talking. It takes about five minutes but he takes over the entire conversation. In a low, pleasant Indo-American-Brit voice (swoon) Town and Country shares his upbringing, coming to the US, and schooling. Ten minutes later he finishes his wine (how he drank and talked is beyond me. I still have half a glass).
On cue, the waitress-nymph (large breasted, big curls, low neck line and super short tight skirt) returns to take his drink order. He almost orders for me but eyes my glass. “Would you like another?” he asks. Hhhmm, this is not a double-fisted kind of place. And I have a two-drink minimum per date. It is so easy in New York to have four drinks and not notice. But sobriety is very important when dating random Internet desi men.
With a sweet smile I say, “It would be rude to make you drink alone, yes?” “It would,” Town and Country replies in his lovely liquid chocolate voice. OMFG. He is almost so perfect, in a suit, physically attractive, with a voice I could get lost in, educated, Punjabi conversationalist. Evidently he’s well-to-do, not a requirement. So what more could a woman want? Oh yes, there is the small matter of, he doesn’t seem interested in me.
During the second glass, he continues talking; only now we’re sitting closer. Despite being loopy (not good) I smell wine on his breath and presume the date must be close to completion. I spend the next few minutes waiting for him to say, “Nice to meet you. I have an early meeting. Can I hail you a cab?” (He strikes me as someone who would hail a woman’s taxi, which is good because in the 13 months I have lived in the City, I have never hailed a cab). Instead he surprises me with, “Have you had dinner?”
What? He wants to spend MORE time with me? Did I read him wrong? Or has dating in Manhattan made me a jaded cynic. “Not yet,” I reply. “I know a place around the corner,” Town and Country suggests. “Interested?” YES!
Upbeat desi woman outsources herself from Minnesota to Manhattan in search of love, and finds something more...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
141. TERRIBLE TIMING FOR A NAIL 911
Oh I simply do NOT believe this. As if I don't have ENOUGH pre-date problems and just before I ready for my Town and Country date, the nail on my right index finger begins to lift. This stinks because one, unkept nails (on my hands) is my self-pet peeve. And two, just last week I paid $70, yes $70, for my once a month french manicure that is falling apart. Before my date? Does God hate me?
My manicure is a tish high maintenance (I know, shocking) and involves the application of six layers of liquid gel painted onto my fingernails and then dried under a UV lamp. This 90 minute process makes my nails very pretty and almost indestructible. And in general, the manicure lasts three weeks, but mine have gone as long as five weeks (not recommended). Can I confess? Sometimes I find getting my nails done to be burdensome. But over time my nails have became part of my signature look and even if no one cares about them, I feel a little pressure to keep up appearances. Though, I know, the day I stop getting my nails done means my discretionary dollars have dwindled and hard times are upon me.
A light sweat breaks across my back. The reality is I don’t have enough time to get into the salon to get my nail fixed before my Town and Country date. What to do? Because it is not possible to be perfect and woo him with a chipped nail. Quick, quick, think, think of a temporary MacGyver fix! A drop of crazy glue would be ideal -- if I had any lying around the apartment. Then I remember my tools. And that salvation can come in a tube. Silicone.
Last month while I was showering, the shower head developed a small crack and sprayed water ALL over the bathroom walls and floor. Unbeknownst to me, it drenched the floor mat. So when I stepped out of the shower and into 1/2 inch of water I just about broke my neck. Had you seen my loo that day, you’d think Noah was coming with his Ark. Who knew you could almost flood a Manhattan bathroom in 20 minutes?
After that death defying moment, I dried my hair (it was January) and raced out to buy solvent to seal the leak. If silicone can fix indoor plumbing let's see if I can seal my nail back to date ready! Wish me luck.
My manicure is a tish high maintenance (I know, shocking) and involves the application of six layers of liquid gel painted onto my fingernails and then dried under a UV lamp. This 90 minute process makes my nails very pretty and almost indestructible. And in general, the manicure lasts three weeks, but mine have gone as long as five weeks (not recommended). Can I confess? Sometimes I find getting my nails done to be burdensome. But over time my nails have became part of my signature look and even if no one cares about them, I feel a little pressure to keep up appearances. Though, I know, the day I stop getting my nails done means my discretionary dollars have dwindled and hard times are upon me.
A light sweat breaks across my back. The reality is I don’t have enough time to get into the salon to get my nail fixed before my Town and Country date. What to do? Because it is not possible to be perfect and woo him with a chipped nail. Quick, quick, think, think of a temporary MacGyver fix! A drop of crazy glue would be ideal -- if I had any lying around the apartment. Then I remember my tools. And that salvation can come in a tube. Silicone.
Last month while I was showering, the shower head developed a small crack and sprayed water ALL over the bathroom walls and floor. Unbeknownst to me, it drenched the floor mat. So when I stepped out of the shower and into 1/2 inch of water I just about broke my neck. Had you seen my loo that day, you’d think Noah was coming with his Ark. Who knew you could almost flood a Manhattan bathroom in 20 minutes?
After that death defying moment, I dried my hair (it was January) and raced out to buy solvent to seal the leak. If silicone can fix indoor plumbing let's see if I can seal my nail back to date ready! Wish me luck.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
140. NOTHING LIKE SOME PRE-DATE TOWN AND COUNTRY PLANNING AND PANICKING
Thursday morning I return from Starbucks, petrified and excited for my date. While my wit has kept him enticed for days, what if he finds me physically unattractive. As a result I feel enormous pressure to be so fabulous that he has no choice but to marry me and end this exhausting dating phase of my life.
Unfortunately for me, one of two situations arise when I happen upon someone I find desirable. Either I try too hard, or I ignore my interest like he has Ebola and act like his dull friend is the most FASCINATING man EVER! I have also found that when I am aloof with men, they want me more than a sports car. This becomes disastrous because the aloofly man treated increases his persistence, breaks me down, dates the hell of out me, makes me fall in love with him, and then dumps me. Citing his eternal love for his fiancée who died eight years ago. Not wanting to focus on the unfixable past, I decide to email Town and Country.
DESI GIRL: How do you feel about deception? While it looks sunny and warm outside, it is colder than sin! I'll have to don my down parka this evening!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I was out at 6:00 am and know. What else are you wearing tonight? (After my ODDB run-ins (Posts 17 & 16), I’m worried his clothing comment is pervy. From his photo, Town and Country doesn’t look like an S&M freak. But who knew Ted Bundy was a serial killer until it was too late).
ME: Undecided. What are you wearing? (This is an UNABASHED lie. As soon as we confirmed the date I knew I’d wear my last supper with Reindeer outfit --- black pants, white tank top, pale green cashmere sweater and tall boots. I know I look stunning in this dressy but casual outfit that subdues my personality. Meera would be SOOOO proud of me.)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Hoping jeans, probably suit. Coming from a meeting. (He then name-drops and shares WAY too much private information about the meeting financials. I hope he’s not insecure, I am ready for him to be perfect Mr. Right!)
DESI GIRL: Cool to meeting casual or corporate you. Think your meeting will run late?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: If it does I will leave. I try to control evening meetings, letting them run late becomes a bad habit. You look like three different people in your pictures – wondering whom I will meet!
DESI GIRL: (Ah, so he again looked at my profile).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: How do you get downtown? Train?
DESI GIRL: Yes.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Are you up for meeting at the house for a drink instead? (This is when EVERYTHING comes to a grinding metal-on-metal train wreck halt. If I say, no, I sound like a prude, which I am. But more than that, I’d have to be two French fries short of a happy meal to meet Internet Man at his house. Serial rapist or kidnapper anyone? Maybe men don’t think about safety the way women do. And this has me wondering if something in my profile says “whore”. Since I am paralyzed in the molasses of my thoughts, I email Rohit, Meera and Ainsley Ayers for advice).
DESI GIRL: Rohit, Meera and Ainsley: PROBLEM!!! (Who doesn’t love an email with PROBLEM!!! in the subject line). Was supposed to meet my date at a bar. Now he has invited me to his house. What to do? Must get back to bar! HELP!!!
Within 30 seconds Ainsley calls. “Did you get my email?” I gasp. “Uhm, yea, and hi, you absolutely CANNOT go to his place. What if he kills you?”
Ainsley demands. “Well that and rape are my top two concerns too,” I reply and continue. “So I must elegantly save face.” “What have your conversations been like?” Ainsley asks. “Well we’ve never spoken, just emailed.” Ainsley sighs in relief, “Even better. You are hilarious so write something funny…Oh and send me his phone number, email and photo…just in case you go missing and I have to lead the search to find you. And call me when you get home! No matter how late!” I agree and we hang up. Maybe this seems a little crazed-estrogen-induced hysteria. But this is New York where people steal cabs right in front of you and you never unexpectedly open the door even if they claim to be from Con Ed, Fresh Direct or UPS. That is how nice girls from the Midwest end up desi dead in dumpsters.
Five seconds later ROHIT emails: Talked to my co-worker Kelly. We both say neutral place. I know Meera will agree. (Excellent, all members of urban family agree).
Just then inspiration jolts through me and I feel potent enough to run for President. I EMAIL: Are you sure you should invite me over? What if I steal the paintings from the walls? I think we should meet in a public place to assess. Thoughts?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Well, you’re not Sindhi, but you make a good point. (I am sure I have mentioned this before, but each Indian state has a stereotype associated with them. Punjabis are fierce, loud, drunk, carnivorous partiers who drown themselves in blinding bling. Whereas Sindhis, Gujuratis and a few others are notoriously shrewd). Looking forward to seeing you tonight!
SWOON!!!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
139. AND THE EMAILING CONTINUES INTO WEDNESDAY
The next morning I find an email from Town and Country that includes his photo:
TOWN AND COUNTRY: What area code is 612? Here is my photo.
DESI GIRL: Minneapolis. (Again doesn’t he have an assistant or an iPhone app to figure out the area code? And MAN he looks STERN in his photo, almost intimidating, yet when he writes he sounds down to earth, normal and real).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: But your not from Minnesota are you? (There is something so overpowering about him, that despite never meeting, I am already almost smitten and again, I let the typo go).
DESI GIRL: Yes. Dad moved there in 1967 because he thought snow would be fun ... I'll leave the image of Punjabis in the snow to you. I moved here 14 months ago.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Do you speak Punjabi? Why move to NYC?
DESI GIRL: My Punjabi is very bad. Are you fluent? We're actually Punjus from Delhi making my Hindi better, but I insert the English word when I blank on the Hindi. I didn’t speak English until I was 3. My desire to become a writer brought me to NYC. (Unlike with Reindeer, I am at ease with Town and Country and feel certain that his inner entrepreneur will appreciate my quest for book deal).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: You mentioned yoga – ever tried it? My stretcher suggested yoga to loosen my muscles. (What the F***? is a stretcher? Does he pay someone to come to his house and stretch him?).
DESI GIRL: Actually I didn't mention yoga ... (S'nice, has he confused me with the OTHER girl he is emailing?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Sorry – I meant in your profile on the matrimonial website. (Oh what a refreshing and interesting change, clearly he has read or re-read my profile, again).
DESI GIRL: (Phew). I was wondering if you knew my secrets including who I plan to vote for in November.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: You’re either voting for Barack or HRC. It says something who you pick among the two.
DESI GIRL: Tell me why you think I am a democrat? Then I'll share my politics, something that I don't generally do with date-able men.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Nothing specific, just the sense I get from you. What makes me date-able?
DESI GIRL: Uhm, the fact that we have a date tomorrow makes you date-able.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Funny! I enjoy your wit. What are you doing tonight?
DESI GIRL: Movies with friends. And you?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: No plans, just wondering if you were free.
DESI GIRL: I am not a movie buff, it takes effort for me to go. (Why am I explaining myself to a stranger from the Internet no less?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I wasn’t suggesting that you skip, you should go. Thought I'd ask in case you didn’t have plans. (Okay dude, I wouldn't cancel my plans for you. Is this a sign? Does he think the world revolves around him?)
DESI GIRL: (Ugh. Be nice!) It just struck me that the last movie I saw was Darjeeling Limited.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I saw it on my way to Europe. Did you like it?
DESI GIRL: Yep. It was humorous, heartwarming and unpredictable.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: The way you describe the movie tells me a lot about you. (This is where I should have asked him to elaborate and done a better job at accepting a compliment). I just got my Macbook Air.
DESI GIRL: It is SO light!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: It’s nice, but I don’t get carried away with gadgets. Watches, briefcases, suits, etc., are more interesting. (Yet he needs to share his latest toy and that he can afford to shop. From his profile there was no inkling of his monetary success. Why does he do this? I liked him for his substance, this claim to cash is off-putting. Still … despite never speaking or hearing his voice, I like him and look forward to tomorrow's date).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: What area code is 612? Here is my photo.
DESI GIRL: Minneapolis. (Again doesn’t he have an assistant or an iPhone app to figure out the area code? And MAN he looks STERN in his photo, almost intimidating, yet when he writes he sounds down to earth, normal and real).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: But your not from Minnesota are you? (There is something so overpowering about him, that despite never meeting, I am already almost smitten and again, I let the typo go).
DESI GIRL: Yes. Dad moved there in 1967 because he thought snow would be fun ... I'll leave the image of Punjabis in the snow to you. I moved here 14 months ago.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Do you speak Punjabi? Why move to NYC?
DESI GIRL: My Punjabi is very bad. Are you fluent? We're actually Punjus from Delhi making my Hindi better, but I insert the English word when I blank on the Hindi. I didn’t speak English until I was 3. My desire to become a writer brought me to NYC. (Unlike with Reindeer, I am at ease with Town and Country and feel certain that his inner entrepreneur will appreciate my quest for book deal).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: You mentioned yoga – ever tried it? My stretcher suggested yoga to loosen my muscles. (What the F***? is a stretcher? Does he pay someone to come to his house and stretch him?).
DESI GIRL: Actually I didn't mention yoga ... (S'nice, has he confused me with the OTHER girl he is emailing?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Sorry – I meant in your profile on the matrimonial website. (Oh what a refreshing and interesting change, clearly he has read or re-read my profile, again).
DESI GIRL: (Phew). I was wondering if you knew my secrets including who I plan to vote for in November.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: You’re either voting for Barack or HRC. It says something who you pick among the two.
DESI GIRL: Tell me why you think I am a democrat? Then I'll share my politics, something that I don't generally do with date-able men.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Nothing specific, just the sense I get from you. What makes me date-able?
DESI GIRL: Uhm, the fact that we have a date tomorrow makes you date-able.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Funny! I enjoy your wit. What are you doing tonight?
DESI GIRL: Movies with friends. And you?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: No plans, just wondering if you were free.
DESI GIRL: I am not a movie buff, it takes effort for me to go. (Why am I explaining myself to a stranger from the Internet no less?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I wasn’t suggesting that you skip, you should go. Thought I'd ask in case you didn’t have plans. (Okay dude, I wouldn't cancel my plans for you. Is this a sign? Does he think the world revolves around him?)
DESI GIRL: (Ugh. Be nice!) It just struck me that the last movie I saw was Darjeeling Limited.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I saw it on my way to Europe. Did you like it?
DESI GIRL: Yep. It was humorous, heartwarming and unpredictable.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: The way you describe the movie tells me a lot about you. (This is where I should have asked him to elaborate and done a better job at accepting a compliment). I just got my Macbook Air.
DESI GIRL: It is SO light!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: It’s nice, but I don’t get carried away with gadgets. Watches, briefcases, suits, etc., are more interesting. (Yet he needs to share his latest toy and that he can afford to shop. From his profile there was no inkling of his monetary success. Why does he do this? I liked him for his substance, this claim to cash is off-putting. Still … despite never speaking or hearing his voice, I like him and look forward to tomorrow's date).
Monday, July 5, 2010
138. EMAILING THE DAY AWAY …
The next day I get an email from Town and Country - (Post 137) accepts and we begin pinging one another with short emails.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Are you free Thursday? I am in St. Louis now for meetings, getting board.
DESI GIRL: St. Louis is the home of my alma mater. Thursday sounds great. Were you in a meeting being bored or board meeting? Hope your day is going well. (Sidebar: I have issues with typos and am worried that he doesn’t know the difference between board and bored. And I need him to be perfect).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Day is going well. Meetings all day yesterday and today. A few more and we leave. Just got an iPhone. If you don’t know anything about technology I could impress or bore you. I used to come to Missouri for work, though my memories are surely different than yours. What’s the weather like in NYC?
DESI GIRL: I just got an iPod nano two weeks ago. I think about getting a Blackberry when my contract is over. And yes my memories are different, and include building models and cutting my fingers with X-acto knives! P.S. we have some rain, no snow yet. (Doesn’t he have an iPhone app or assistant to tell him the weather conditions?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Thanks! You can help me on some issues I’m having with my house. (I think he shares too much, more than I ever would about my work and he assumes that I’m good at design. Then again, maybe it would be nice to meet an un-cynical man in Manhattan).
DESI GIRL: Sure we can talk architecture, happy to help. Do you have any sketches?
TOWN AND COUNTRY (several hours later): Just landed. Delay of one hour. Don't really have plans. House was built in the 1800s. Needs some work but it is fine for me for now -- I have some gen y cousins who feel entitled and would disagree. (He actually tells me which NYC block he lives on and I am leaving that out of the blog. I find this bit of information dangerous, what if I was a stalker or a Bellevue escapee? Or writing a blog ... he is waaaaaay to trusting!)
DESI GIRL: Gen y ... I understand. I was watching 60 Minutes and 27 year olds were telling the interviewer the way "it is" and how they expect business to change and adhere to their needs ... what?! Glad to have some fuddy duddy company. Kitchens are tricky but it is amazing how much underutilized space lurks.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I saw that episode, too. I can be old fashioned in some ways.
DESI GIRL: I’m old fashioned too. (Read: I'm a prude with a 5-dates-before-sex-rule. I also have a "no more than 2 drinks on a date rule"). I have a DVD/VHS combo unit, don't judge me.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I won’t. Where in the city do you live?
DESI GIRL: Hudson Heights about 10 blocks from Fort Tryon Park. Cannot complain about the views of sunsets over the Hudson and Palisades State Park.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I know the area! Along 138th Street between 7th and 8th is one of the most beautiful blocks in the city. VHS when was the last time you used it? And are you an 80s or 90s girl? Or maybe I should see what’s on your nano.
DESI GIRL: In 2002 I watched Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Not telling you what's on my nano.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I haven’t seen a VHS in 20 years - I’m very curious to meet you.
DESI GIRL: Ha! Curious to meet me b/c I watched a VHS in the 21st Century? or that I just got my iPod?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Curious, because I’m enjoying the email exchange.
DESI GIRL: I meant to log off earlier but I am enjoying this too -- humor, brilliance, conversation are attractive qualities and surprisingly hard to find.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I didn’t mean to keep you. I sleep late and get up early to meet with my trainer, but I’ve been traveling for work, so not much training going on, the results of too many dinners you will see.
DESI GIRL: It's winter and sometimes life takes us by surprise and storm and you fall off the treadmill. Just get back on. It will be fine when Spring starts in 24 days.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: How do you know Spring is in 24 days? Are you one of those people who knows a lot of “stuff”? In agreement on working out, something is better than nothing. But traveling and meetings are more mentally draining than physically.
DESI GIRL: The Equinox is coming according to my calendar. And I'm a bit of a news junkie so I know some "stuff" --- it's random and eclectic --- but certainly I don't know everything!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Send me your number. Good night!
DESI GIRL: Sure thing, let’s exchange photos too!
Wow, I find him so attractive, I actually don't care about photos as long as he isn't twice my weight. I pray nothing goes wrong between now and the date! Come on luck shine your favorable gaze upon me!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Are you free Thursday? I am in St. Louis now for meetings, getting board.
DESI GIRL: St. Louis is the home of my alma mater. Thursday sounds great. Were you in a meeting being bored or board meeting? Hope your day is going well. (Sidebar: I have issues with typos and am worried that he doesn’t know the difference between board and bored. And I need him to be perfect).
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Day is going well. Meetings all day yesterday and today. A few more and we leave. Just got an iPhone. If you don’t know anything about technology I could impress or bore you. I used to come to Missouri for work, though my memories are surely different than yours. What’s the weather like in NYC?
DESI GIRL: I just got an iPod nano two weeks ago. I think about getting a Blackberry when my contract is over. And yes my memories are different, and include building models and cutting my fingers with X-acto knives! P.S. we have some rain, no snow yet. (Doesn’t he have an iPhone app or assistant to tell him the weather conditions?)
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Thanks! You can help me on some issues I’m having with my house. (I think he shares too much, more than I ever would about my work and he assumes that I’m good at design. Then again, maybe it would be nice to meet an un-cynical man in Manhattan).
DESI GIRL: Sure we can talk architecture, happy to help. Do you have any sketches?
TOWN AND COUNTRY (several hours later): Just landed. Delay of one hour. Don't really have plans. House was built in the 1800s. Needs some work but it is fine for me for now -- I have some gen y cousins who feel entitled and would disagree. (He actually tells me which NYC block he lives on and I am leaving that out of the blog. I find this bit of information dangerous, what if I was a stalker or a Bellevue escapee? Or writing a blog ... he is waaaaaay to trusting!)
DESI GIRL: Gen y ... I understand. I was watching 60 Minutes and 27 year olds were telling the interviewer the way "it is" and how they expect business to change and adhere to their needs ... what?! Glad to have some fuddy duddy company. Kitchens are tricky but it is amazing how much underutilized space lurks.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I saw that episode, too. I can be old fashioned in some ways.
DESI GIRL: I’m old fashioned too. (Read: I'm a prude with a 5-dates-before-sex-rule. I also have a "no more than 2 drinks on a date rule"). I have a DVD/VHS combo unit, don't judge me.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I won’t. Where in the city do you live?
DESI GIRL: Hudson Heights about 10 blocks from Fort Tryon Park. Cannot complain about the views of sunsets over the Hudson and Palisades State Park.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I know the area! Along 138th Street between 7th and 8th is one of the most beautiful blocks in the city. VHS when was the last time you used it? And are you an 80s or 90s girl? Or maybe I should see what’s on your nano.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I haven’t seen a VHS in 20 years - I’m very curious to meet you.
DESI GIRL: Ha! Curious to meet me b/c I watched a VHS in the 21st Century? or that I just got my iPod?
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Curious, because I’m enjoying the email exchange.
DESI GIRL: I meant to log off earlier but I am enjoying this too -- humor, brilliance, conversation are attractive qualities and surprisingly hard to find.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: I didn’t mean to keep you. I sleep late and get up early to meet with my trainer, but I’ve been traveling for work, so not much training going on, the results of too many dinners you will see.
DESI GIRL: It's winter and sometimes life takes us by surprise and storm and you fall off the treadmill. Just get back on. It will be fine when Spring starts in 24 days.
TOWN AND COUNTRY: How do you know Spring is in 24 days? Are you one of those people who knows a lot of “stuff”? In agreement on working out, something is better than nothing. But traveling and meetings are more mentally draining than physically.
DESI GIRL: The Equinox is coming according to my calendar. And I'm a bit of a news junkie so I know some "stuff" --- it's random and eclectic --- but certainly I don't know everything!
TOWN AND COUNTRY: Send me your number. Good night!
DESI GIRL: Sure thing, let’s exchange photos too!
Wow, I find him so attractive, I actually don't care about photos as long as he isn't twice my weight. I pray nothing goes wrong between now and the date! Come on luck shine your favorable gaze upon me!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
137. AFTER THE DARKNESS IS THIS THE LIGHT
I assume the standard position, sitting cross-legged in my chair, facing the computer in yoga pants, hair piled in a makeshift bun and cup of coffee in hand. My two week hiatus from desi dating is over and today I am using the function that allows me to see who looked at my profile.
Perhaps a better strategy is to contact men who have looked at my profile rather than blindly chance it on men and their writing skills (let’s not forget how that backfired with Quan Jock (Posts 132, 129, 128) . These are the last ten men to review my profile: caliboy, jai_singh, patelbond, yrluvaboy, desibbondboy, raj007, drench, boy4u, indiasbest, and nyc2dc4u. Wow, out of 1 billion desis “indiasbest” sure is confident! And can someone explain the obsession desi men have with James Bond?
The tenth reviewer, has the least insidious sounding profile id (shall be called Town and Country) and writes: I’m 38, Punjabi, been in the US for over 20 years, 5’-10”, athletic build and wheatish complexion … (again what the hell color is that?! can some desi matchmaking auntie in the G.I.N. – Great Indian Network – explain this?). Every time I read this, it strikes me as nonsense. If your family is from Kashmir you are going to basically be white and if you’re from Tamil Nadu you aren’t. This results in the North Indians and South Indians having different ideas about complexion gradations. Meera and I laugh about this now, but in college she didn’t think I was Indian until we were introduced and she heard my desi name.
The weight thing is also misleading. I used to refer to myself as average from the choices of slim, athletic, average and heavy. But the Banker told me he meets women who claim to be thin and are chunkier than me. He suggested I change my weight classification from average to athletic. And immediately I did.
He continues with: I am the youngest sibling, reliable, passionate, ambitious, and hardworking but not a workaholic. I'm a serial entrepreneur. There isn’t much I haven’t done and the things I don’t have will come in time. I am grounded and accept defeats as part of life. I am generous, fun, proud of who I am where and where I am going. From a flea market to a black-tie, I ease in and out situations. Give a shout out if this sounds interesting. Otherwise wishing you success in your search.
Okay. It’s official even with no photo, he sounds lovely. It is possible that my reprieve from the darkness is over and here comes the techbalconyc light? For a change I don’t feel like a moth torched by the burn of a flame. Perhaps the planets were waiting for my planets to align with his. So I hit the “express interest” button in the event he wishes to communicate with me.
And then I do something I am not good at. I wait.
Perhaps a better strategy is to contact men who have looked at my profile rather than blindly chance it on men and their writing skills (let’s not forget how that backfired with Quan Jock (Posts 132, 129, 128) . These are the last ten men to review my profile: caliboy, jai_singh, patelbond, yrluvaboy, desibbondboy, raj007, drench, boy4u, indiasbest, and nyc2dc4u. Wow, out of 1 billion desis “indiasbest” sure is confident! And can someone explain the obsession desi men have with James Bond?
The tenth reviewer, has the least insidious sounding profile id (shall be called Town and Country) and writes: I’m 38, Punjabi, been in the US for over 20 years, 5’-10”, athletic build and wheatish complexion … (again what the hell color is that?! can some desi matchmaking auntie in the G.I.N. – Great Indian Network – explain this?). Every time I read this, it strikes me as nonsense. If your family is from Kashmir you are going to basically be white and if you’re from Tamil Nadu you aren’t. This results in the North Indians and South Indians having different ideas about complexion gradations. Meera and I laugh about this now, but in college she didn’t think I was Indian until we were introduced and she heard my desi name.
The weight thing is also misleading. I used to refer to myself as average from the choices of slim, athletic, average and heavy. But the Banker told me he meets women who claim to be thin and are chunkier than me. He suggested I change my weight classification from average to athletic. And immediately I did.
He continues with: I am the youngest sibling, reliable, passionate, ambitious, and hardworking but not a workaholic. I'm a serial entrepreneur. There isn’t much I haven’t done and the things I don’t have will come in time. I am grounded and accept defeats as part of life. I am generous, fun, proud of who I am where and where I am going. From a flea market to a black-tie, I ease in and out situations. Give a shout out if this sounds interesting. Otherwise wishing you success in your search.
Okay. It’s official even with no photo, he sounds lovely. It is possible that my reprieve from the darkness is over and here comes the techbalconyc light? For a change I don’t feel like a moth torched by the burn of a flame. Perhaps the planets were waiting for my planets to align with his. So I hit the “express interest” button in the event he wishes to communicate with me.
And then I do something I am not good at. I wait.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
136. DESI GIRL GOES TO CHURCH (YES YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY)
Don’t tell my mother or cousin, but I have decided, for the sake of my sanity, to STOP groom hunting this week. I know, a little reckless for a woman “my age” with an unused uterus. However to avoid the spontaneous combustion of Desi Girl, I must find new ways to amuse myself. Good thing I Iive in Manhattan where the entire City is an awaiting urban playground.
To be honest, as I sit in the pew, I feel VERY uncomfortable. I hope a scarlet “H” for Hindu doesn’t magically appear on my forehead and alert the Christian cops that an outsider is present. Okay, must stop with the conspiracy theories. To put myself at ease I spend several minutes silently admiring my neighbor’s brown cashmere sweater. Would my mother (the devout Hindu) be upset to learn I am here? When I was 12 I told her I wanted to be Christian, to better fit into Minnesota, and man did I get a scolding!
As the choir sings I find it remarkable that Christians and Hindus invoke God through song. When the minister begins preaching my mind fills with thoughts of gays and the sex scandals of priests. What is wrong with me?!
Today’s service is about Job, a biblical passage I know nothing about. “Scholars find this passage to be one of the most literary passages in the Bible,” the minister begins and then speaks of Job’s pious nature, 10 children, possessions and wife. “Job had it all,” the minister shares. “But due to a series of events that included Satan taking and burning Job’s possessions and killing his children, he loses it all.” YIKES! Satan is one seriously bad dude.
“During despair, Job’s wife begs him to curse God. But Job does not. His friends make assertions that Job is suffering because he is a sinner. Again, Job does not curse God. In fact, Job believes what God gives, God can take. Of course Job wonders how this has happened to him, but he still accepts his suffering. And he suffers until one day God comes to Job, and instead of explaining the suffering, God asks Job, ‘you were not here when I created the world, right’?” the minister pauses, letting the words waft across the room. “The lesson here is, like Job's suffering, the rest of us were not meant to understand God’s plan.”
Suddenly I become shell shocked as the minister’s words resonate with me. Maybe I don’t need to understand why I suffer. I mean yes I am healthy and have a home. But I am human and feel pain and anguish.
I find life to challenge me some days and rattle my faith on others. Not just in the men I gravitate towards, but the friends I allow to mistreat me. Sometimes I curse the choices I made and the careers I didn’t follow. But all of that wallowing in the past and berating my imperfections impedes me. And my inner control freak is not helping either. Like Job, I must accept that only God knows my plan and tomorrow I should wake up and embrace the life I came to Manhattan to have.
And in time, I know after I face the darkness, there is only light.
Luckily volunteering has introduced me to new girlfriends whose company makes the single life tolerable. The Banker and I have taken to exploring SoHo and land up at Muji. OMG. Japanese stationary and gifts anyone? Yes please and more! Rohit and Meera host a Super Bowl party (Giants-Patriots). And Ainsley and I, unhappy with the current course of our lives, attend a seminar, “A New Year, A New You,” and based on our interests, we create passion maps.
On Valentine’s Day, I attend a Lonely Hearts soiree and indulge on $15 drinks at the W and then dine on kati rolls (paneer, chicken, or lamb rolled in a naan: think super yummy Indian burrito). I meet another woman volunteering, Siobhan, and we dine to assuage the Sunday night blues. In Siobhan I find a woman, my age, who gets me and my issues, except hers are Irish. And for the first time in my life, I attend Church with some friends.
As the choir sings I find it remarkable that Christians and Hindus invoke God through song. When the minister begins preaching my mind fills with thoughts of gays and the sex scandals of priests. What is wrong with me?!
Today’s service is about Job, a biblical passage I know nothing about. “Scholars find this passage to be one of the most literary passages in the Bible,” the minister begins and then speaks of Job’s pious nature, 10 children, possessions and wife. “Job had it all,” the minister shares. “But due to a series of events that included Satan taking and burning Job’s possessions and killing his children, he loses it all.” YIKES! Satan is one seriously bad dude.
“During despair, Job’s wife begs him to curse God. But Job does not. His friends make assertions that Job is suffering because he is a sinner. Again, Job does not curse God. In fact, Job believes what God gives, God can take. Of course Job wonders how this has happened to him, but he still accepts his suffering. And he suffers until one day God comes to Job, and instead of explaining the suffering, God asks Job, ‘you were not here when I created the world, right’?” the minister pauses, letting the words waft across the room. “The lesson here is, like Job's suffering, the rest of us were not meant to understand God’s plan.”
Suddenly I become shell shocked as the minister’s words resonate with me. Maybe I don’t need to understand why I suffer. I mean yes I am healthy and have a home. But I am human and feel pain and anguish.
I find life to challenge me some days and rattle my faith on others. Not just in the men I gravitate towards, but the friends I allow to mistreat me. Sometimes I curse the choices I made and the careers I didn’t follow. But all of that wallowing in the past and berating my imperfections impedes me. And my inner control freak is not helping either. Like Job, I must accept that only God knows my plan and tomorrow I should wake up and embrace the life I came to Manhattan to have.
And in time, I know after I face the darkness, there is only light.
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